Power of Forgiveness
We often think forgiveness is about excusing someone else's actions—making it seem as though what they did was okay. But forgiveness isn't for the offender; it's for ourselves.
When I was thirteen, I faced a moment that forever altered my path. Unexpectedly, I encountered the man who had molested me when I was just three years old. Seeing him again could have plunged me into rage, bitterness, or despair. Instead, in that profound moment, I chose forgiveness.
I wrote him a letter—a letter he would never receive, but one that allowed me to unburden my heart. In choosing to forgive him, I reclaimed my power. I refused to let my trauma define me or dictate my future. This forgiveness wasn't a pardon; it was liberation.
Forgiveness allowed me to acknowledge my pain without being consumed by it. It helped me understand that holding onto anger was only hurting me. Letting go didn't mean forgetting—it meant accepting the past and choosing not to let it control my present or future.
The journey to forgiveness was not easy. There were moments of doubt, moments of anger, and moments when forgiveness felt impossible. But with each step forward, I felt lighter, stronger, and freer. Forgiveness created a path for healing, allowing me to reconnect with myself and reclaim my story.
However, forgiveness isn't always straightforward or easy. Although I was strong enough to forgive that man from my past, I still struggle deeply to forgive my children's father. This isn't because of what he's done to me personally, but because of the ways he's hurt our children. He's impacted their lives in ways that will affect them forever, molding their perspectives and influencing who they become and how they affect others.
Lately, I’ve been sitting with some really heavy emotions. And if I’m being honest—hate has been one of them. Not the petty kind. The kind that comes from deep, relentless hurt. The kind that builds when someone you once trusted turns every interaction into manipulation. When co-parenting becomes a battleground. When your kids are stuck in the middle. And when you carry the weight of doing what’s right alone, while being blamed for everything that goes wrong.
For a long time, I thought if I just ignored it, stayed strong, or “took the high road,” it would all get better. But lately, I’ve realized: I don’t want to live with this hate anymore. It’s heavy. It’s exhausting. And the truth is—it’s not helping me heal. It’s still giving him space in my heart and my head.
So, I’m learning how to let it go. Not for him, but for me.
Here’s what I’m going to start doing:
Letting myself feel the hard stuff. Without shame. Without guilt. I’ve earned my emotions. I’m allowed to feel them without letting them control me.
Turning pain into purpose. By continuing to speak out, share my story, and hold space for others who are going through it, too.
Taking my power back. I’m reminding myself of the truth: I am strong. I am grounded. I am not what he tried to make me believe I was.
Releasing it from my body. Whether it’s crying, writing, screaming into a pillow, dancing in my living room—whatever it takes. I won’t carry this feeling anymore!
Creating a ritual of release. I’m going to write it all down—the hurt, the betrayal, the anger. And then I’ll burn it. Bury it. Rip it up. Because I deserve to feel light again.
I don’t have it all figured out. I’m still in it. Still working through it. But I know this: I deserve peace. My kids deserve peace. And I’m fighting for that, one day at a time.
Forgiveness doesn't erase pain. It doesn't justify wrongdoing. But it does something far more powerful—it sets you free.
If you're holding onto pain or anger from your past, consider forgiving—not for them, but for you. Your heart deserves peace, your spirit deserves freedom, and you deserve to heal.
Remember, forgiveness is the gift you give yourself.
With love,
Christina