Blending Isn’t Always Smooth—But It Can Be Beautiful

If you’ve ever been part of a blended family—whether as a parent, a child, a stepparent, or even an adult navigating your own parents’ remarriage—you know one thing for sure: it’s not always easy. And after spending time at our Peterson family reunion, I was reminded just how complex, emotional, and ultimately rewarding this kind of blending can be.

I’ve lived the challenges firsthand.

From co-parenting with my children’s father—who made things far more difficult than they needed to be—to building a life with my husband, Brandon, who somehow weathered every storm thrown his way. There was a time when every man who tried to be part of my life after my ex ran for the hills. He made it nearly impossible for anyone to stay. The manipulation, the threats, the emotional warfare.

But Brandon stayed. He didn’t run.
He stuck it out through the chaos, the loyalty tests, the heartache.
He chose us, over and over again.

And that kind of love? That kind of commitment? That’s what real family is built on.

Blended families aren't just about new names on a family tree. They’re about reshaping bonds, rebuilding trust, and reimagining what love looks like. And sometimes—especially when you’re healing old wounds—it can feel incredibly uncomfortable.

But one thing I’ve come to understand deeply is this:

💬 As adult children, it’s no longer about us.

We have our own homes now. Our own partners. Our own kids and routines. And when a parent remarries, especially after loss, it can stir up complicated feelings—grief, guilt, even resistance. But at the end of the day, their happiness matters. They deserve love, companionship, and joy for the rest of their lives. Just like we do.

So when someone new steps into their life, we owe them the same grace we’d want others to give us. It may not feel familiar. It may not look how we imagined. But love after loss, or love after change, is still sacred. It’s still worth celebrating.

So this one’s for you, Kay.

I’m so glad I got to spend time with you this weekend and truly get to know you. You’ve shown nothing but kindness, strength, and grace. I see the way you show up for Dan. I see the way you try. And I want you to know that it matters. You matter.

I’m really looking forward to future family events—getting to laugh more, eat good food, share stories, and build new memories together. That’s what family is—not just what we’re born into, but what we choose to grow into.

And for what it’s worth, I know it hasn’t been easy. I know you’ve felt a little out of place. Maybe even a little unwelcome by a few people who are still adjusting. But please hear this:

Their discomfort isn’t a reflection of your worth. It’s a reflection of their own processing. Blending is hard for everyone, especially when it involves grief or big life changes. But that doesn’t mean you’re not doing a beautiful job.

Keep showing up as you. Keep loving Dan the way you do. The rest will fall into place over time.

💡 Tips for Stepparents and Adult Kids Navigating the Blend:

1. For Stepparents:
Be patient. Not everyone will be ready when you are. Focus on the people who do welcome you, and give grace to the ones who don’t—while still holding your head high. You deserve to feel like part of the family, too.

2. For Adult Children:
Remember that your parents’ happiness isn’t a betrayal of the past. It’s part of their healing and evolution. You don’t have to be best friends with their new partner, but you can be respectful, open, and kind. That alone goes a long way.

3. For Everyone:
Don’t keep score. Don’t compare. Just commit to kindness. Let love evolve at its own pace.

Blending families takes patience. It takes maturity. It takes choosing love—even when it’s uncomfortable or unfamiliar.

But when we stop making it about us, and start making it about healing, peace, and happiness for everyone, something beautiful happens.
We become more than just a family.
We become a community.
A team.
A legacy built on choice, not just circumstance.

So if you're navigating this journey too, know this: you're not alone. Keep choosing love. Keep showing up. Keep rising and roaring.

With love and grace,
Christina

💛 A Personal Thank-You

To my dad, thank you for choosing me. You didn’t have to, but you did. You adopted me, loved me, protected me, and showed me what a real father is. Your love gave me a foundation to stand on, even when life tried to shake me. I will never take that for granted.

And to my husband, Brandon—thank you for being the kind of man who didn’t run when things got hard. Thank you for standing by me even when the odds were stacked against us, even when my past tried to tear us apart. You didn’t just love me—you fought for our family. And because of that, we’ve built something stronger than I ever thought possible.

💬 And I’ll leave you with this…

"Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs—the ones who accept you for who you are, support you in the things you choose to do, and love you no matter what."
—Unknown